3 TIPS FOR CONTROL FREAKS

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

God, grant me the serenity to stop trying to boss the world.

God, grant me the serenity not to overpower anyone with my agenda.”

You may think you are in charge, but you’re not. You may like all your ducks lined up in a row, but sometimes one of them will not cooperate. Sometimes, the more you want order, the more you get chaos.  It is most important to understand you don’t control the universe, you can’t make the trees grow and you can’t stop time.

Here are three tips to remind you that you are powerless, you can’t control everything and most of the time, anything.

One: you can’t cant stop a tornado.

Two: you cant control you’re significant other.

Three: shoot, you can’t even control you’re farts –especially past the age of 50.

Next time you feel like you have to control something, remind yourself you are not the great creator. Stop trying to be the great controller. Instead open up your arms and surrender.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to not beat up anybody and wisdom to shut my mouth amen!

Finally, when you feel that controlling spirit coming up: breathe and release. Breathe and release. Breathe and release and see yourself as you really are, a tiny dot in this great big universe.

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Divorce Your Story & Marry The Truth

Why are you telling that story?  That story makes you look bad! Why don’t you just tell the truth?  The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! So help you!

Have you ever found yourself repeating a story that victimizes you or makes you look like a loser when the fact is you are far from it?   But just because you had a bump in the road, or someone said something unfavorably about you, you created a horrible story about yourself.  It’s not only important to be careful how you speak about yourself to others; but more importantly how you talk about yourself to yourself.

You have to see yourself as a winner even when circumstances make you feel like a failure. Porque tu no es porqueria ni es basura. Tu es maraivillosa. Translation: you are not junk or anyone’s trash, you are marvelous.

If you have to tell a story, give yourself a new story that makes you a hero and  motivates you every time you hear it to strive for greatness instead of making you the villain.

Your new story should include the following five statements:

One: I am equipped

Two: I can take on any obstacle and beat it

Three: I operate in winning vehicles

Four: Where there’s a will I find a way

Five: I am unstoppable in everything I do

Start writing a new story for yourself that empowers you, lifts you up, and makes you soar.

That is all the common sense I have for you today. Until next time #KeepItCommon!

13 ONLINE COMMON SENSE DATING RED FLAGS

The big thing right now is online dating. I personally hate it. I like the old school way of meeting people face to face.

Like shopping: I like looking, touching, smelling, hearing and tasting the person first. Get your head out of the gutter – I am not talking sex.

But most people today have a fascination with meeting people online. People go to different sites for different reasons.

People who go to E-HARMONY are looking to get married People who go to Match.com want to have coffee then hookupPeople who go to Craigslist: just want to have sex (or get killed) People who go to Facebook: don’t know that there are real dating sites

Then there is Bootycallforall.com: doesn’t matter who you are, how many limbs you have or don’t, what your sexual preference is or is not.

So I have come up with 13 red flags to help you in your online dating adventure. I have more than that but I don’t want to freak anybody out.

Red flag number one: The person never wants to skype…really.? There is something wrong with that

Red flag number two: The person has no phone number… Are you kidding me..

Red flag number three: The person’s online photos are shot at an angle with filters…That means they are butt ugly.

Red flag number four: Only has 5 facebook friends…Sounds like a creeper to me.

Red flag number five: Is always on the road/busy and can’t be contacted…you know that person is either married or shackled to their cellmate

Red flag number six: they tell you to meet them at a truck stop…Serial killer…run…get the hell out now.

Red flag number seven: they tell you not to tell you any of your friends…Another serial killer…

Red flag number eight: Has no pictures of him or herself…the person is either very ugly, extra extra extra large or in a witness protection program

Red flag number nine: They tell you they are in the entertainment business but aren’t googleable

Red flag number ten: The person asks you for money/ offer you money… are you sure you did not sign up for an escort service?

Red flag number eleven: Asks you for your work address…Don’t you give them that…they will ruin your credit.

Red flag number twelve: They are Sharing the same script with other people…They are loosers with no soul.

And finally, Red flag number thirteen: They Ask you to send a nude picture/ or send one of themselves to you…Careful that is probably one of the weiner boys Anthony or Oscar meyer weiner.

These are some red flags that should send you running quick to delete them from your page social network immediately .

That’s all the advice I have for you today. Until next time, keep it common!

14 social media common sense etiquette rules

  1. Stop posting inaccurate bible verses on social media. If you are gonna post it, make sure it actually comes from the bible.  These are not found in the bible:                                        Cleanliness is next to Godliness.                                                                                                    God helps those who help themselves.                                                                                          God don’t like ugly.
  1. Stop posting nasty pictures. I don’t wanna see your junk hanging. And neither does your momma.
  1. Don’t talk crap on Facebook because your mother’s friend will find you, see it and tell on you.
  1. Don’t complain about a three year-old car accident on Facebook…stop talking about how much pain you are in 3 years later.
  1. Stop telling people about how your cat scratched your butt while you were in the bathroom. Too Much Information and we really don’t care.
  1. Don’t give us your daily schedule. Nobody care, unless you are holding stalker audition. No blow by blow about what you are eating, ate, or are going to eat.
  1. No weather reports.
  1. No emotional check-ins (“I’m feeling blue today”).

9.    No twitter fighting.

  1. For those of you on LinkedIn, don’t ask me for a reference if I don’t know you.
  1. Don’t pin, don’t post, don’t message cause I don’t want to see your dirty private parts tweeted, texted or Tumbl’d.
  1. Stop stalking and trolling on the Internet. You know who you are and you know what I mean. Stop it! It tells people you have no life. Stalkin’ and Trollin’ is not to be confused with Rockin’ & Rollin’.
  1. Don’t go on Facebook looking for a booty call.
  1. If a five year old stumbles across your page, you don’t want them yelling out ‘mama mama, what’s a blowjob?

That’s all the common sense I have for you today. Until Next time, keep it common!

7 common sense Do’s and Don’ts Social Media

If you’re going to use social media, make sure to use it properly. It only takes a few minutes to learn the rules.  I have come up with 7 common sense Do’s and Don’t’s to get you started.

Here are the common sense 7 Do’s of Social Media:

  1. Be kind, respectful and treat everyone like you want to be treated.
  2. Treat everyone’s site as if it were an extension of their home.
  3. Be supportive of your “friends and followers.”
  4. Post a current profile photo of yourself and give some info on yourself
  5. As permission to post on someone else’s page.
  6. As for support.
  7. Share good things.

Here are the common sense 7 Don’ts of Social Media:

  1. Avoid being rude, disrespectful or idiotic.
  2. Refrain from fighting on someone else’s page
  3. Trashing someone else for their spiritual, political, or personal beliefs on their page is a no-no. They have the right to say whatever they want “on their page”.
  4. Over-sharing on social media is not cool. That includes drunk photos, trashing your job, trashing or gossiping about fellow employees, posting of your sexual conquests or extra added affairs. That kind over sharing can get you fired, beaten up or killed. You know who are and so does every one else. STOP The madness!
  5. Try not to tag everyone on your event poster, or your get-rich-quick scams.
  6. Leave posting for another time when you’re tired, depressed or drunk. Not only will you regret it later, it will jack up your reputation, have you trending on in the Internet, not to mention you can never take it off.
  7. It’s not okay to demand people follow, like you or join your group.

That’s all the common sense I have for you today. Until next time